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Balanced Hedonism
Day-long Retreat with
Sandra Savine, Terre Sisson & Mary Michaud
April 23rd, 10am–5pm
North Garden, VA


Dashed Dreams Can Heal Us

Dashed dreams are unmet expectations. They can be an expectation about how or where we live, our partners, our lifestyle , our relationships, our career, our health, or the quality of our life.

Often these dashed dreams give rise to the voice of unresolved issues from the past. This voice comes in the form of internal "talk" or thoughts. It can be the voice of, "Why me?", the voice of blame, the voice of frustration or fear.

If none of our tools work – exercise, meditation, mantras, mudras – then it is perhaps an indicator that the voice must be listened to. Another indicator is that the wish for something to be different becomes stronger, more urgent. Resistance to what is creates more tension. The wish for something to be different needs to be acknowledged. Acknowledgement, then, gives the voice of the past an opportunity to be heard. When your inner voice is heard, healing is invited, rather than the habitual pattern of feeding resentments or neuroses.

During these struggles, we must be skillful as we give voice to these unresolved issues. We can pause before we react, and consciously refuse to become the voice of our past. Instead, we can be the listener. Put another way. We can refuse to become the victim; rather we can choose to remain the self healer. The heart can be our guide. It is our choice in the moment.

One way to hold the line of balance is to listen and then consciously come back to the present moment, the here and now. The observation of the breath is one simple way to be here now. For example, observe/feel the movement of the rib cage as you inhale and exhale (it is like a bellows).

In this way, the dashed dream becomes an active part in our healing process instead of the thief that steals our joy.

To quote Bhaddekaratta Sutta:

Do not pursue the past
Do not lose yourself in the future
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is in the very here and now,
The practitioner dwells in stability and freedom.

May we all heal our wounds and live freely in the present moment.


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